The night she felt real

She'll never forget the moment. It was the first time she really felt like a woman. His worn, once-white Stryper baseball tee hung from her tall frame, hitting her mid-thigh.

Downstairs, the typical college party raged onward. The smell of stale beer mixed with sweat and a semester of big gulps and sandwiches filled his bedroom. Boys. College boys to say the least. Distant music mingled with murmers was all she could hear as she slid into his twin bed. She was surprised. The sheets smelled like mountain freshness, most likely, she concluded from his dryer sheets. Impressive.

The Milwakees Best she had downed right before coming upstairs was lingering on her breath. She wad tired from socializing. All she wanted was a good nights rest and an embrace from the owner of the t-shirt.

Things had been awkward. They had stopped talking. There was more polite banter than real conversation. He was holding something back. What it was she couldn't quite tell yet.

Nieve. That's what she was. She was afraid to push-afraid to ask the tough questions.

She pulled the thin plaid blanket up to her chin, turned on her side, and laid there for a few minutes, letting the sounds of the party below wash over her weary body. She heard his footsteps up the stairs, then in the hall. He was in front of the door. The hall light creeped in as he snuck hussedly into the room. She heard him slid off his pants and tug at his shirt.

He slid into the bed next to her and drapped his arm over her. She could feel his breath on her neck. Chills. The all over kind. Up and down her spin. She wanted to hold onto this moment for an eternity.

She let her hand fall over his drapped arm and squeezed his hand as if to signal that she recognized his presence. She wanted more than anything to turn over and kiss him, but something in her wouldn't allow it. There were no rings, no vows, no assurances of a forever. Two were not one. None-the-less, maybe this was a good sign. She felt hope well up in her chest as they lay there in the mountain fresh twin bed.

She would never forget that night. That was the night she felt real.

And...well...yeah

Day 20: Midway. So far so good.

Question of the day-
If you smoke and drink, can you still give your heart to Jesus?

(small disclaimer here: this is a question, not an admittance to any of the aformentioned things)

Comment in 3, 2, 1, go...

Day 19

Day 19

The days Ohne-IM have been well...really fun to be quite honest. I've spent more time with my girls, read about three books, went to Disneyland, met some pretty rad new people, contracted a killer cold, and actually had some pretty significant conversation. For awhile there I had forgotten how hard it can be to have real conversations. The 'Hi, how are you' conversations are never bad, but they lead to the even better 'what's new with you' conversations in which I find out about make-ups, break-ups, great concerts, shingles, bad dates, bad tests, good things, not so good things, and all things random. AND I got to see one of my best friends get engaged.

On another note, I've discovered the beauty that is bubbo tea. Delicious. I was originally put off by the thought of tapioca balls drenched in frozen Vietnamese dessert, but can I just say the tapioca...made me smile. And the movie Amelia. Thank you Laura Atchinson for exposing me to such an amazing movie.

I love you, I love your family...keep it real and get into some trouble.

The last time I checked that was illegal

Top 10 things I like about the guys in my life:

10. They know just how to tweek the car stereo to get the best sound quality
9. They always have the best stereo/audio vision set-ups. Hello surround sound.
8. They trully believe that the team will win if they just shout louder at the TV.
7. The way they take less than 30 minutes to get ready for anything.
6. They swear they dislike shows associated with being "girly" but secretly watch Blow-out.
5. They eat like horses but don't gain weight.
4. They have some sort of God-given talent for all things sporty.
3. Scars are cool in their world.
2. They get awkward around girls they like. It's adorable I promise.
1. They get excited about working on their cars and fixing the leaky sink.

How I broke up with Trader Joes...

Such a funny link. I heart craig's list. I wish I could be this funny.

yours trully
launa

Blue Like Jazz boys

I've often been disconcerted by the mundane tasks of the day. Somehow they make me feel mediocer, boring almost. Then today I read this:

The Elusive Will of God (from Relevantmagazine.com)

I call them Blue Like Jazz Boys. I’m sure you know a few of them. Maybe you’re dating one. Maybe you are one.

A Blue Like Jazz Boy is someone who manages to seamlessly weave an enthusiastic recommendation of the book Blue Like Jazz into every conversation he has. I had a hunch that two such boys were sitting next to me at a table in Starbucks. Several clues gave them away, including their lengthy analysis of the latest David Crowder Band CD and their excessive use of the word “postmodernism.” Oblivious to my eavesdropping, the boys continued conversing while sipping their $5 lattes.

“Did you decide about California yet?”
“Nah, not yet …”
“It’s a tough decision …”
“Yah … I know … it’d be a great opportunity, but I’m just not sure … I’ve been praying a lot … reading my Bible … just really trying to figure out which choice is God’s will, you know?”

I tuned out the boys so I could begin reading my book. I had just come from Barnes & Noble, and my book was brand new; their conversation, on the other hand, was not. I have heard many twentysomethings discuss their future in much the same way, talking as though God had pre-picked a specific route for their life—which college to attend, which major to choose, which place to live after college, which job to take, which person to marry and so on.

These twentysomethings routinely say things like “I’m just trying to find God’s will for my life” or “I’m wondering what God’s will is.” Their very language implies that deep down they believe God is playing a big game with them. He’s created a great riddle for them to try and solve … a divine round of hide-and-go-seek in which they are forced to participate. But I don’t think God delights in making things difficult for His creation. Although we might all wish that God would spell out His thoughts regarding what job to take or whom to marry, that’s generally not how it works.

People who become obsessed with finding and doing God’s will right before they have to make big life choices often miss the point entirely. That’s because the only time we really need to know and do God’s will is right now—in this present moment. Whether we follow His will in the small choices we make during the next hour of our lives has the greatest significance.

St. Francis of Assisi offers a good example of this. While he was raking leaves one day, a neighbor asked, “If you knew for certain that Christ Himself were coming back in a half-hour, what would you do?”

St. Francis replied, “I’d finish raking the yard.”

Many of us have come to view our daily routine as boring—just empty space to be filled with an array of distractions. But the key to knowing and doing the will of God is seeing that empty space for what it is: exceedingly important. We need to become vigilant about that space and remain unwilling to take small detours from God’s will—speaking disrespectfully to loved ones, watching trash on TV, wasting valuable time at work. It’s the wrong choices we make in everyday life that put us instantly out of God’s will for our lives.

In The Will of God as a Way of Life, author Jerry Sittser says, “The Bible tells us what we must do today, which often involves mundane tasks we tend to overlook. It tells us precious little about what is going to happen tomorrow, except to say that God is in control. We spend much of our time wishing the reverse were true. ‘Forget today,’ we say to ourselves, ‘I already know about that. It’s boring. I want to know about tomorrow because that’s unknown and exciting.’ But Jesus wants us to devote our time and energy to all the little tasks we must do every day, not just to the big decisions we have to make every so often …”

The good news is that we can decide right this moment to get back into the center of God’s will—by simply making the right choice in the next decision we’re faced with.

I wanted to tell the single-white-male-seeking-God’s-will-in-Starbucks that he had already found it. He was praying and reading God’s word; he was obviously concerned about giving God a central place in his life. Therefore, he was right where he needed to be—-trying to please his Creator through his ordinary, every day life. If he continued doing that, he’d probably remain in God’s will whether he moved to California or stayed in Chicago.

I glanced up from my book as the two boys stood up to leave.
“See you Wednesday?”
“Yah, I’ll definitely be there…we changed it back to 7, right?
“Yep … Oh, and don’t forget to bring Blue Like Jazz for Dave to borrow …”

I looked back down to hide my smile.

Jennifer Ruisch is the author of Faith and the City (RELEVANT Books). She lives in Des Moines, Iowa with her husband.

putting your money where your mouth is

Ninety-one million. Not quit the number of stars in the sky or grains of sand on the beach, but it is the number of registered Instant Messanger users as of 2004, according to America Online.

That's a lot of people. A wooping 70% of American internet users say they use instant messanger. The gentle cling of the IM alert and the orange blinking indicator of the IM box are well know in today's culture.

"You've got mail" has been replaced by the glow of our buddy lists. We have full conversations, heck full relationships, within the confinds of our living rooms-over the internet. What happened to body language? The tone in a persons voice?

When did we decide it was ok to have contrived, semi-personal, mediocer relationships with each other? I'd be lying to say I haven't been the perpetrator of such relationships. My last relationship was, in fact, started on the internet and continued in part by IM. I have done it. I still do it. I'm too afraid to pick up the phone and call, so I take the easy, passive way out and send an IM.

Messaging is, albeit, convenient for a generation glued to their computers, but I'm tired of mediocer relationships. I want authenticity. I want genuine conversation. I want to hear my friends laugh, cry, be joyful, be angry. There is something to be said about a good conversation about what's on your heart.

I've decided to put my money where my mouth is. I'm giving up Instant Messanger for lent. I'm going to chronicle my time post IM. Days-ohne-IM, if you will (if you speak German you may catch the cleaverness in the title).

I'm excited to see where God takes me on this journey. Till I see you again, keep it semi-real, get into some trouble, and know that I love you...and your family.